Group of Uni Students Spend Thousands on Whale Trip; Find No Whales
We hope you never make a blunder this large.
Some broke, struggling undergraduate students at Brigham Young University recently dropped thousands of pounds into the trash can as they went on a whale expedition—and yet, had absolutely zero experiences with whales.
LonDone With Provo was fascinated with the experiences of one S. Ellis Hancock, and indeed, this gives meaning. LonDone With Provo is always fascinated with Ellis, and has written multiple articles on this man's life. While we here at LDWP certainly appreciate him, we maintained a low profile as westalked followed Hancock and his group around this past weekend. Thus, you can expect to receive coverage of pure, raw experience—what it really feels like to drop thousands, and pick up zeros.
We love Ellis Hancock so much that we made a blog dedicated to him.
"Why are you using my middle name?" Hancock peers over our shoulders as we type. The response we gave was something along the lines of "we know that deep down, you like it more than your first name, because so many other people are named Sam." Exposed and confronted with inner turmoil, he leaves. LDWP is committed to giving unbiased accounts, sharing the facts; and having Hancock present as we wrote was a no-go. Thus, you can expect to receive high-quality coverage.
The trip the group embarked on started with a bus. Or, rather, lack of one. Students could be heard yelling and screaming for mercy around clock 700 in Hyde Park's bus lot. "I just want to see whales! That's all I care about," one student, later identified as Stockton Hunsaker, remarked. The students were in luck as after what felt like hours of waiting in the cold, Barry the Bus Driver finally pulled up. Unfortunately, LDWP couldn't understand Barry through his thick accent, but perhaps that was a good thing—he was later described as "odd" and "not really sexist, but kind of."
Barry's bus.
The ill-fated congress of students finally sets out on their journey. "Whales," Stockton is heard mumbling in the back. This sentiment is echoed by the rest of the group. However, Barry had other plans in mind. He first drove them to an encircling of rocks, then lead them on a death march to a tomb. Perhaps it was to prepare the students for the mental majesty of the Great Blue Whale. Or, perhaps, Barry never intended to bring them to whales in the first place. Crisis was avoided when the students eventually lost their desire to follow his will and ran back to the bus. Defeated, Barry drives on.
Hancock is spotted with his shirt off at the rock circle. Ow. Ow.
They took a rather long bath (heaven knows what they were doing, we were sat in the bottom of the bus) that lasted all night and all morning. We originally suspected they were bathing with whales, but student comments afterwards convinced us otherwise. "Can't wait to see whales," Stockton says, the words sliding out his mouth like slimy octopi.
No whales in this "Bath."
Eventually, students started chanting "whales, whales, whales" as they drove over a bridge in the middle of the forest. They erupted into cheers as they crossed a bridge, yelling "whales!" with glee. However, no whales were in sight, so it was at this point that we sadly concluded that the students had either lost their minds or been poisoned by Barry. They got off and explored a park nowhere near any bodies of water big enough to accommodate even a single whale. However, one interesting point is that words on the road started to be written in what could possibly be interpreted as Whale Speak.
Could this be the language of whales?
The students continues to a city known as Cardiff, where Hancock splits off from the rest of the group. "I love whales," he's heard to mutter. Hancock sets off on a lonely expedition to the bay, where we hope to take part in his joy in seeing the large water-dwelling mammals. However, sadly, there were no whales to be found at the bay. This didn't appear to upset Hancock; if anything, he appeared enchanted with the view of the sunset, and took multiple videos of himself doing heel clicks on the dock.
Happy Hancock on the dock.
The next day was spent exploring an old castle-like structure, but at this point, our conviction for seeing the whales with the group of Uni students was waning. "Wow, I loved seeing whales," Olivia Clemons said. "So pretty." Barry definitely had something to do with this. They appeared to be having fun, though. Maybe the simple pleasures matter most; it may be that we should all try to convince ourselves that we saw whales, or get drugged by an English bus driver.
The castle they visited. No whales in sight.
They returned home, tired but happy. We were not as happy, because we knew secretly that their expedition was a failure. A waste of time. A waste of money. Barry had drugged them to believe that they saw whales, and they had no idea. We take solace in the fact that perhaps even though they will sleep off the effects of the drug, the faked memories of seeing whales will likely never fade. This will at least bring them solace—ignorance truly is bliss.
The bay Hancock visited. Can you find the whale? Hint: there are none.
A canal Hancock found. Any canal whales? Nope.
A whale-less fountain outside a pasta restaurant that fascinated Hancock.
Some broke, struggling undergraduate students at Brigham Young University recently dropped thousands of pounds into the trash can as they went on a whale expedition—and yet, had absolutely zero experiences with whales.
LonDone With Provo was fascinated with the experiences of one S. Ellis Hancock, and indeed, this gives meaning. LonDone With Provo is always fascinated with Ellis, and has written multiple articles on this man's life. While we here at LDWP certainly appreciate him, we maintained a low profile as we
We love Ellis Hancock so much that we made a blog dedicated to him.
"Why are you using my middle name?" Hancock peers over our shoulders as we type. The response we gave was something along the lines of "we know that deep down, you like it more than your first name, because so many other people are named Sam." Exposed and confronted with inner turmoil, he leaves. LDWP is committed to giving unbiased accounts, sharing the facts; and having Hancock present as we wrote was a no-go. Thus, you can expect to receive high-quality coverage.
The trip the group embarked on started with a bus. Or, rather, lack of one. Students could be heard yelling and screaming for mercy around clock 700 in Hyde Park's bus lot. "I just want to see whales! That's all I care about," one student, later identified as Stockton Hunsaker, remarked. The students were in luck as after what felt like hours of waiting in the cold, Barry the Bus Driver finally pulled up. Unfortunately, LDWP couldn't understand Barry through his thick accent, but perhaps that was a good thing—he was later described as "odd" and "not really sexist, but kind of."
Barry's bus.
The ill-fated congress of students finally sets out on their journey. "Whales," Stockton is heard mumbling in the back. This sentiment is echoed by the rest of the group. However, Barry had other plans in mind. He first drove them to an encircling of rocks, then lead them on a death march to a tomb. Perhaps it was to prepare the students for the mental majesty of the Great Blue Whale. Or, perhaps, Barry never intended to bring them to whales in the first place. Crisis was avoided when the students eventually lost their desire to follow his will and ran back to the bus. Defeated, Barry drives on.
Hancock is spotted with his shirt off at the rock circle. Ow. Ow.
They took a rather long bath (heaven knows what they were doing, we were sat in the bottom of the bus) that lasted all night and all morning. We originally suspected they were bathing with whales, but student comments afterwards convinced us otherwise. "Can't wait to see whales," Stockton says, the words sliding out his mouth like slimy octopi.
No whales in this "Bath."
Eventually, students started chanting "whales, whales, whales" as they drove over a bridge in the middle of the forest. They erupted into cheers as they crossed a bridge, yelling "whales!" with glee. However, no whales were in sight, so it was at this point that we sadly concluded that the students had either lost their minds or been poisoned by Barry. They got off and explored a park nowhere near any bodies of water big enough to accommodate even a single whale. However, one interesting point is that words on the road started to be written in what could possibly be interpreted as Whale Speak.
Could this be the language of whales?
The students continues to a city known as Cardiff, where Hancock splits off from the rest of the group. "I love whales," he's heard to mutter. Hancock sets off on a lonely expedition to the bay, where we hope to take part in his joy in seeing the large water-dwelling mammals. However, sadly, there were no whales to be found at the bay. This didn't appear to upset Hancock; if anything, he appeared enchanted with the view of the sunset, and took multiple videos of himself doing heel clicks on the dock.
Happy Hancock on the dock.
The next day was spent exploring an old castle-like structure, but at this point, our conviction for seeing the whales with the group of Uni students was waning. "Wow, I loved seeing whales," Olivia Clemons said. "So pretty." Barry definitely had something to do with this. They appeared to be having fun, though. Maybe the simple pleasures matter most; it may be that we should all try to convince ourselves that we saw whales, or get drugged by an English bus driver.
The castle they visited. No whales in sight.
They returned home, tired but happy. We were not as happy, because we knew secretly that their expedition was a failure. A waste of time. A waste of money. Barry had drugged them to believe that they saw whales, and they had no idea. We take solace in the fact that perhaps even though they will sleep off the effects of the drug, the faked memories of seeing whales will likely never fade. This will at least bring them solace—ignorance truly is bliss.
The bay Hancock visited. Can you find the whale? Hint: there are none.
A canal Hancock found. Any canal whales? Nope.
A whale-less fountain outside a pasta restaurant that fascinated Hancock.
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